I knew the relaxing, sober weekend was as fictitious as a unicorn. I was doing good Friday night on the start of my bachelor weekend. I was doing wash like most men do on Friday nights and staying sober and saving money. Then at 10 the phone rang and I answered, “Yes, I will go out.” So I met Wians and Chappy at My Office and watched them beat two real winners at darts. You should have seen these two. An older man and woman, seven sheets to the wind, yes seven. Well as much fun as that was we headed off to the Metro and wasted the majority of the night away there. When two came around at the Metro I drug Adam to My Office for the walk home night cap. Neither of us needed to go there but I insisted. Upon walking into the sketchball bar we saw Adam’s buddy passed out on the bar stool so we promptly woke him up and bought him a beer. I snapped a couple pictures of him and Adam with my phone and we shot the breeze with the guy until we got kicked out.

Saturday I headed to the Brew Crew game. I picked up Marti and we cruised to the park. I crashed my old high school buddy Digger’s bachelor party. It was a ton of fun. I got to hang out with a ton of my old high school friends and practice my old hobby of shot gunning beers. The tailgate was fun but the things really got jumping when we headed into the park. Everyone was just starting to feel the warmth of the brew come over them but some really felt it. The one person that really felt it was the two fisted slobberer Todd. The great thing about Todd is he really doesn’t have a clue how the game of baseball is played. It was his first game and my buddy Brad’s first game at Miller Park. So we were standing by the right field bleachers like we always do when the roving scoreboard chick comes over to us and asks reTodd if he wants to be on the jumbo-tron. I’ve been to about a thousand games and have never been on the scoreboard. reTodd is there about 20 seconds and he gets on the scoreboard spilling his two beers (he couldn’t decide between Sprecher and Capitol Amber so he got both) all over and looking blasted. Todd just got worse from there. He got jealous of my Corona beads and ripped them off of my neck. This craziness kept on the entire game with various people being the center of the melee. The game had tons of craziness caused by other people too. One person chucked an inflatable doll on the field. I happened to be in concourse for that and heard Uecker say, “I’ve seen a lot of things in my days of doing the games, but that is something new.” The game was topped off in the right field bleachers. Some guy had a little too much fun and with one out left, the fans on their feet, and the Brewers about to seal the victory, this guy cleared out a ten yard radius around him by puking his guts out. I have to say he has a keeper girlfriend because she stayed there holding him in her loving arms. I ran down and snapped a couple pictures of him on my phone to put in my picture section when I get one. Finally the little golf cart ambulance was going to come and take him away but the guy rallied and avoided a trip to detox. When the game was over I headed back to the bus, and after an unsuccessful kidnapping to me back to Sheboredom I headed back downtown. A shout out to all the boys from back home. Todd, Brad, Pat and everyone else. A special thanks and congrats to the bachelor Digger. That night, well, forget it. I’m sick of typing, talk to you later.

Saturday’s game didn’t have quite the craziness as opening day but that was expected. Since I was well rested I felt like a million bucks. I woke up around 7:30 and got ready for the game. We weren’t meeting until ten so I had a lot of crappy Saturday morning TV to watch (what happened to the good cartoons?). Once ten came I headed over to Adam’s apt. I was feeling good but everyone else in our group looked like a coyote ate them and crapped them off a cliff. It took a little time to get everyone going but that was expected for a group of 20. The tailgating at the park was pretty low key. I was the grill man and I have to give my props to Wians for setting everything up. He set up a bang up tailgate and he’s officially been elected the planner of all events from here on out. I did my fair share of beverage consuming and shot taking but in the end there was still half a half, yes a quarter, left over that went to waste, so much for hair of the dog. Once in the game we had a good time. We all sat together and there were these cool little kids and one of the dads next to us. The little tikes were all swapping cards that they were giving out at the gate. Scavenging the ground and people around me I managed to collect a set of 40. I was having fun with the kids trading them cards and I bought their best ones off of each of them for a buck, reminded me of my old card trading days. Well when the fun was over I knew the last thing I need was more crap like baseball cards so I divided them up amongst the little guys. Their pa was grateful and gave me some sunflower seeds in return. The game was a great one. Counsell got a hit and the Brewers won so the game ended up being a good game with great friends.

After chilling at my place for a bit and watching COPS, the Bone and I met Lueds and the crew at BBC. They were definitely a rag tag bunch that were unable to keep their eyes open. Most of the soldiers took off around 10 due to their inability to function. After that the lone survivors were Lueds, Bone and I. We were all in great not drunk shape so we headed to Patty’s to finish the night. Luedke’s woman met up with us and we just sat around telling college stories and making Luedke’s woman second guess what kind of guy she got mixed up with. It was a good time. We headed home around midnight and ended the weekend.